So… I haven’t blogged for a while. Honestly, I think it was a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. My hesitation with starting a blog in the first place was rooted in the doubt that I would keep up with it regularly. Sure, I’m busy… chasing a toddler, keeping pace with my husband, working, doing ministry, living LIFE. But after a bit of reflection, I’ve realized the real reason I stopped writing went beyond the busyness of life. Everybody is busy. The real reason I stopped writing was fear.
Fear of all of you, really. Ideas and topics would come to mind, everything from simple family updates to personal spiritual revelations, but I always found a reason not to sit and jot it down.
“That sounds so dumb.”
“Nobody cares to read about that.”
“Are you sure that theology is right?”
And on and on, the thoughts would come. Ultimately, I always talked myself out of writing because I was afraid of what all of you… any of you… would think about it. You’d think after 26 years on this earth I wouldn’t care so much about the opinions of others, but alas, here we are 11 months later and not a single post to show for it. Not because my heart hasn’t longed to write. Not because material hasn’t come to mind. Simply because I was afraid of the judgement and criticisms you may or may not have in response to my writing.
So, I have an announcement to make. A personal resolution! I hereby refuse to care what you think. As a people-pleasing perfectionist, that’s difficult very difficult for me to say. However, I must declare it here now if I am to have any hope of reviving The Alley.
“But, why not?,” you may ask. “My opinions are awesome! My critique is superb!” Well, my friend, while I don’t doubt that, I refuse to care because the truth is this: I don’t blog for you… not exactly.
I blog for my family… to record memories and document milestones.
I blog for myself… because writing and photography have always been an outlet and a passion.
I blog for the Lord… because He gave me that passion, and passion is a gift that should be used, exercised, and shared. He also is continually teaching, molding, and guiding me, and every so often, I feel Him calling me to tell you about it, too.
With that said, I do hope our family blog blesses you. I often tell Daniel after his messages to our youth that if even ONE student is affected, then every bit of prayer and preparation is worth it. The same goes for each post I write. From now on, I simply refuse to write with the expectation of rejection. I choose to write with positive expectations and the hope that each of you will receive it well.
So what’s to come after nearly a year of silence? No worries… life around the Bollen Alley is rarely dull. With a another year of ministry kicking off, the most precious toddler in the world literally running us in circles, and another little “pin” coming in just 3 short months… I think I’ll find something to write you about!
Stay tuned! (No really, I mean it this time… wink!)